More Questions than Answers or "My Very First Post"

Okay, here's my first post on this blog; 2:30am on a sunday night. How fitting that it should come on such a lonely quiet night, with ella playing quietly in the background, just me, ella and my insomnia...
There's a slight kind of panic enveloping me at this early hour of the morning. This is much different than a journal. First of all, everyone will be able to read it.. Will I have the courage to be so open and forthright? Do I actually have anything worth saying? God, what if I'm boring or worse yet, annoying? Gulp. Will someone want to hear my neurotic mind rumblings and ongoing torcherous journey of self-examination?..YAWN..Well that's making me tired already..
Well, I pledge to make this an exciting ride...A big problem the past 5 years of my life is that my life has reached this stagnancy...Sometimes I feel like a racehorse waiting for the gate to release. I guess this is where I take off....Grab hold..it's going to be a bumpy one.